Target Practice
Entry posted by 5co77ie ·
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Well two significant things today:
Firstly it's the first anniversary of my Dad's death. It's depressing having no family as they're the only folks actually interested in what you're doing. I've seen him briefly in the 'otherworld' and he's happy enough i think. But I've kind of knocked the whole spirit stuff on the head the last few months, too many people opposed to my views i guess and withdrawn myself from the edges of the spiritworld. I've had the occasional trickster, laughing at my situation and flash of other paths but not often and i feel too filled with inertia to dive into other possibilities.
I've not returned his shamanic mask and staff to Vanuatu yet, who knows when I will? My sister wants us to and says he asked her to return them upon his death. But the journey creates too much fear to consider, maybe I need some kava to grow more adventurous. Meeting all those village elders without him! It's weird to think he met so many religious people over the years, took part in so many ceremonies and was so prepared for his death - but it doesn't help the fact he only hinted of his impending end and had to travel half way around the world to die near the temples he felt most spiritual at. I still don't feel he's assimilated into the universe yet tho. Possibly he's around my grandmother or his wife or even us, his children at times.
At least he was able to go to the temples of the clouds, not restricted like mum was with her cancer, unable to even leave the confines of the hospice. Her spirit seems have dissolved willingly into the waters of the world however and I'm used to her passing now. Doesn't say i don't miss them both occasionally.
The inertia continues into my existence, wasteland indeed, I can't face either Grandmother or step-mother today and really i should get in touch. Perhaps tonight after the second thing - Our first archery lesson. Hope it's good and the weather holds off long enough for our 2 hour session. We're both a bit nervous about it. Z for her performance and me for the people - I mean what type of person is an archer? Guess we'll find out in an hour or so.
EDIT:
No they don't wear green tights. They were actually quite cool down to earth people and after a while i was hitting bullseyes (Gold!) everytime. Got asked if I'd done it before as i had natural 'string walking' - how cool is that?
In further developments to point one:
Off to see my nan tomorrow for lunch, cheer her up a bit - i phoned her in the end. After step mum had phoned she's away tomorrow til 18th and dad showed up - well kind of - she heard a noise as though she'd dropped something, looked and there were her earrings from her wedding day which had been missing for years - she was convinced she'd lost them abroad. Nice of him to do that for her i thought. Made her day too. Though she's a bit low, obviously. She was putting a very brave face on.
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