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I went to a zoo, it was the worst zoo ever, they only had 1 dog, it was a shih tzu.

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Thursday stuff.

I have been a little subdued post Leeds, plenty of work to come back to and joy of joys on Tuesday our whole local server was down where I store most of my files, I sat twiddling my thumbs all of Tuesday and was hammered with work on Wednesday. I am back on top of it now.

I see from the blog of bus that he is a serial early samich eater. I always always eat my sandwiches at ten, this stems from the days when I was an insomniac and may have been up at 3am, so come ten I was a hankering for sandwich. Now I get up at 5am it is still there, the need for food at ten. Today I have cheese sandwich. We are trying to be all good and go vegetarian, the reasons are manyfold, but it stems from being sickened by the pig slaughter on gordon ramsey, we discussed this at leeds and decided that as soon as the freezer was ran down we wouldn’t be buying any more meat, we are pretty much there anyway, we never really ate much meat in the first place.

Not much else is happening, off to see hips like cinderella on Saturday, should be a good night, hope it’s a good night. The week after they are at the albion so we are going to that as well. We hadnt watched them in quite some time and saw them just before leeds festival and realised why they are our favourite band.


Leeds festival.

wednesday leeds.

bitch of a journey due to poor direction on my part. Got in though and tent up and gazebo prior to the down pour from hell. Then its make friends and party, there was 5 of us that initially arrived and later joined by 2 more. From here, me and paul essex. essex started drinking as soon as he got out of the car and carried on pretty much all weekend. Too much wine on wednesday night ensured that its a blur.


Thursday. We are joined by the rest of the party and late in the day it is the meet. Initial thoughts are that most people are glad that the two over powering pearl jam fanboys are at reading, and there was some merciless piss taking going on. While essex did his best to be the party, me and the missus stood back and done some people watching, spoke to phatman, the name may suggest that he is girthsome, he aint. Captain drunko was pleasant comapany as was fletcher, kilgore and northern desire and lofty. We met loads of others but it had to be said there are a lot of cliques out there and its difficult to get into them. Aside from that efesters are a varied bunch, but a pleasant bunch. Lofty came back with essex and they drank lots of alcohol.

friday then. First on, metric,


they were bloody excellent, then over to the main stage and last 2 songs of the fantastic killswitch engage, taking back sunday were ok, as ever blighted by shit sound,


less than jake were pretty damn good, then it was back to the tent to change wellies into trainers. At this point I may have shouted at the queue for the on site hairdressers, if you are more concerned about your hair than music, you are at the wrong festival. Post BFMV we headed back and bumped into phatman briefly as he was returning from slayer, he liked them a lot he said. We head back to the mainstage and I really really enjoy my chemical romance,


placebo follow and do a set of mainly late career stuff and its excellent, fearing for our ears, we are away before pearl jam have played a note. To the tent and a few drinkies. day 1 over. During all this we went by one of the tents and saw the fat face of a kooks man, they were a bit bollocks.

Saturday. late start, nothing till panic at the disco, who had a huge crowd and an appreciative crowd, they are great. I start drinking at this point. I go off to see get cape wear cape fly and get a great spot at the front. He is just stunning, really fantastic.


As soon as he is done, off to the main stage for fall out boy. They are ok but outside of the singles a very weak band. No more bands for us until yeah yeah yeahs, they were good, but the kaisers followed them and they are just the best all weekend, a great set and they are true showmen. After that its to the caberet tent for fastlane, right up my street them and a great end to the second day, an excellent day spent with friends.


Sunday, last day.

c**ts at the campsite have already put cannisters in fires and got my back up so we are packed and ready to go, we will watch some bands but we aint stopping. We arent alone. Milburn first, the tent is packed and 75% know the words to all their songs, we dont, they sound like the arctic monkeys. Next be your own pet, we are on the barrier for it and, this isnt a joke, I fell asleep whilst leaning on the barrier. We decide to go and watch rob rouse and mitch benn, both very funny and helped me recharge my batteries. Dirty pretty things, hmm, not too good them, A bit of hawthorne heights and then the fall, the first time I have ever seen the fall in 19 odd years of gig going, mark e smith is a f**king legend. clap your hands say yeah, were shockingly bad live, really ropey sound, but still enjoyable.


After that and the heavens open, we go, thats leeds. My last major one, next year its small all the way and more of them.



Leeds festival.

I wrote out a large large large blog entry about leeds and f**king lost it. It basically said I drank a lot, had a good time, watched some bands of which the fall, metric, get cape wear cape fly, kaiser chiefs and my chemical romance were all good. I may try writing it out again. Bastard computer.


It's Tuesday, on the way in this morning I listened to Im wide awake its morning. For the first time in a round a year. I love Bright eyes and listening to that album I was reminded why. I wish he was playing Leeds this year, he would be a perfect Carling stage headliner and a nice antidote to the madness I am sure will be taking place.

I have a few things to get today, from the pound shop, "no, really, we have heard it all before and yes, it is only a pound" and home bargains, which is essentially an upscale pound shop. Batteries in the main as the air bed is going and as I am built for comfort and not for speed I don’t fancy spending hours on a foot pump.

Essex told me yesterday that he had managed to pick up another waif and stray and we have some random bloke camping with us that we are going to meet off junction 47 of the M1. I was wandering round download with him and it was like he had paid people in advance, in the space of ten minutes 3 separate people had come up to him to say hello, these were random people that he had met at leeds in the past. Now there tales will talk of the surly over weight f**ker that was with him at Download. I have a knack for the surly, but I also have a knack for the rotund and jolly. That makes me sound like father christmas that.

So then maybe the last one for a while, I may be tempted to get a new one in before I leave, but probably not.



I don’t really do the nerd thing, I pretty much hate sci fi and fantasy, I am sure harry potter is neither. I don’t play games, I have a psp but its not for games, I watch video on it. So when a mate of mine suggested I give world of warcraft a go, I sniggered a little, after all I have a wife. The whole premise was a bit of a turn off, genius mind. Imagine, you buy the game, 30 quid please, so you have bought the game, now you pay to play it, to use the servers, you have to pay again, on a monthly basis. So where am I 2 months later? Thoroughly addicted to the damn thing and me and my warlock Mantooth are like 2 peas in a pod.


Chris Moyles.

I was bored on the bus this morning and came up with a geurilla activity. Hows about people calling up Chris Moyles for his phone ins and just saying the word c**t. Imagine the fines he will get, it would be great if a few people did it. I may have to give him a listen on Wednesday morning and give it a stab.


V on 4.

E4 are showing the V festival, I have been to 4 V's, including the first one in Warrington. Its easy to take the piss out of it because its a clean polite facsimile of a festival and its like a bridging festival between say T4's party on the beach and reading festival, and now that I am watching it it does remind me more of those roadshows that channel 4 put on hosted by june f**king sarpong.

I digress at the moment they have just had the feeling on and now its the delays. The delays supported the pixies once, they werent very good and my opinion hasnt changed now. Makes me sound like a miserabl shit stuck in his ways but the delays are such a generic indie band.

Imogen heap is on now, christ what does she look like. God help us if there is a war.


Red hot poker.

I played poker last night with mates and the kid, I drank way too much and I am f**ked, genuinely f**king pissed still, we was drinking till 2 and I am seriously too old for this bollocks. Still leeds soon innit and this is a taster.

As as sidenote I am here watching the ace video for the fratellis song, chelsea daggers and come to the conclusion that I am in love with at least 5 women in that video. Maybe 10.


Tickets ahoy.

As of last night I have my Leeds tickets, I had two Reading tickets and via a friend of Normbo's I made the swap last night. I can get excited about going now, was cutting it a bit fine though. We arranged this swap in May as it goes and for all the people that rip others off on this forum, this was a straight swap of tickets, neither of us pulled out and it was trouble free.

Out last night in town a lot of people for the V festival was about, I hate to generalise but there are a f**kload of people from the northwest who turned up last night without tents, they may be dead hard and dont consider it a real festival unless they spend the night subjected to the elements minus the poncy gazebo, or they may be visiting their sick mother who lives in Weston under lizard, or they may be out to raid the tents of some posho lady boys who got pissed a little too much because they did well in their a levels. I would like to think it will be the second option.


16 Clumsy and Shy.

It was my intention that this efestivals blog was just going to be festival related, but as time has gone on it’s a bit difficult resisting just wittering. I have even tried to tenuously tie gigs to festivals. I can imagine it, today I walked my dog (that is really what it will be like) which reminded me off the first time I went to Glastonbury festival and on our way through Glastonbury town I espied a crusty with a dog on a string, not a cliché, there really was one, and I wound down the window and shouted get a bath you soap dodging bastard. Again this really happened, I am not proud of it, I blame it on youth as in the car we had a life size jeremy beadle face mask that we used to freak out motorists on the motorway to Glastonbury But there, that was my tenuous way of getting from one random thing to another.

SMS are supposed to be delivering my Leeds tickets today, to my wife at work, come the revolution, MFI, Heather Mills McCartney and SMS will be first against the wall, they make Rover look like a well oiled machine, SMS were called to ensure that our tickets were on the carrier pidgeon that will be doing the delivery and again they said yes. None of this will run smoothly and that’s why I haven't had that shit faced grinning enthusiasm that most of the other people who are going to Leeds have. I also feel that my enthusiasm for meeting what seems like hundreds of people off the leeds board is seriously waning. Do not get me wrong I really really want to meet people, and lots of them, and I know it’s a social element that makes festivals, but christ its hard work on a message board when the extent of someones conversation is slagging off a band, what will they be like in real life, I daresay as much of a shock that m******** m**** wasn't a ripped toned 20 year old ready to have sex with my mother, but a skinny 17 year old , estimated age.


Cud at Birmingham last night.

The support was excellent, a chap called Rob McCulloch, will be looking into him later today, really good.

As I have said I last saw Cud at Glastonbury festival, they were the highlight that year, that was around 93. So last nights gig had been a long time coming. Puttnam had clearly gained a bit of weight, but who hasn't I know I am not the bloke I was 13 years ago. William and Steve didn’t appear to have aged at all, Steve being the drummer from Cud. They have a new guitarist for these dates and I think that is the only sign of any real animosity. They played I've had it with blondes, eau water, robinson crusoe, hey boots, alison springs, vocally speaking, love in a hollow tree, strange kind of love, only a prawn in whitby and a few others that I didn’t know or cant remember what they were called.

Carls voice had a fair few effects on but still really really strong, and he was like a panther still patrolling the stage, his stage presence is still immense and as musicians they are still fantastic. Carl forgot the words to a few songs, that’s not surprising though and the guitarist, Felix had a few issues with his fancy dan pedal. As a band though they were a joy to watch.

Outside of the band, obviously the audience, everyone was over 25, possibly over 30 and as such the atmosphere was as different a gig I have been to in years, the possible exception was the frank and walters earlier this year. It was packed, near a sell out if not sold out, me and lisa was at the front and that si where we remained, the crowd were crazy for cud and it was raucous, but in a good way, no crowd surfing, which I detest, and just really friendly people, a brilliant atmosphere, absolutely brilliant. One of my gigs of the year, if not the best this year.


Robinson Crusoe.

Essex has assured me that my tickets will be here tomorrow, I feel his drug consumption has got the better of him.

Tonight I am off to see 90's Leeds indie band Cud. A band that are possibly in my top 20 all time bands. Certainly in the early 90's in my top 5. Always used to see them supporting the Wedding Present and saw them just way too many times, its a bit of a deal for me tonight, unsure if I will feel the same emotion I felt when I saw the reformed pixies at brixton a couple of years ago, I could easily have cried from the opening chords of winterlong, just because I knew lisa at that point was seeing them for the first time, tonight similarly, although her love for cud is strong, it doesnt even get close to the pixies, but she never got to see cud and tonight she does.

After that its Leeds, finally, hopefully.

What this post have to do with festivals, well Cud played Glastonbury and after all these years and all these festivals and my tarnished opinion of Glastonbury, the cud performance is perhaps the one performance over any other performance that sticks in my mind.


I may have been a little harsh on SMS, let me elaborate.

I ordered my tickets last September, paid for them and then didn’t have to worry when they went on sale. I use the tracker on Seetickets website and this told me that they had been dispatched. My kid who is a miserable shit and likes to stop up late and get up late was coerced into getting up at 8 so as not to miss those f**king idiots that masquerade as a courier firm (you see a pattern here). She did this for two days and nothing. So I call SMS and they tell me that would I like redelivery attempted at a work address, I said yes and they tell me that this will happen Thursday. Now lets rewind. Redelivery. I ask if they have a record of these tickets being attempted to be delivered, they said no record, I said how can it be a redlivery. At this point my voice started going a little higher and I passed the phone to little ern, she is better at remaining calm than I am.


Last night.

I meet up with Essex last night and Paul. Paul joined us at Download, this is him sans bandana, but with aviators.


Paul had the Leeds ticket off us and he seemed very happy. A good night last night, I am not Essex who takes the candle, burns both ends, gets bored with that and eats the f**ker. At download Essex ate glowsticks and hel0rz and I challenged him at Leeds to eat play doh, which he said last night he still will. He also told me last night that hel0rz is no longer going to Leeds, its not a deal breaker but you go to these meets and meet efesters and on the whole they are shy 13 year olds that cant string a conversation together, she wasn't, she was normal. C'est la vie though, I digress, yes I will be buying play doh today and Essex will be eating it. Back to last night, Essex isn't just Essex at festivals, where as me and little legs have a few pints, well Essex doesnt.

Odd dream last night, I dreamt I met hipster and bus, but I dont even know what they look like, I dreamed that Lisa kicked me out and for some reason I asked them if I could live with them, they said yes. For all I know they may not even live together. Really odd dream and totally random.


Il postino.

Seetickets say my tickets are in the post, unsure if they are using SMS anymore as Royal Mail delivered our Cud tickets today. For all their faults SMS are way better than the thieving c**ts that masquerade as postmen.


Shut up Peter.

So the cat has been put amongst the pidgeons regarding Teago and Leeds, not good but not the end of the world. The company outside of Teago was good anyway so no harm no foul. My worry at the moment is that I still haven't got the Reading tickets I am swapping for Leeds tickets. Ideally I wanted to get them swapped this weekend. I do not want to be scrambling about for a ticket if this falls through. I don’t think it will fall through but until I have the ticket in my hand it is a worry.


Arse candle.

Some how those filthy bastards at Burger King managed to poison me and I have been to put it bluntly, shitting through the eye of a needle, in one respect this is bad, health and all that, the other respect I had a delivery of Leeds festival early entry tickets.



The last time the tent was out was at download, my kid has loads of storage in the attic room and the tents go back there. Yesterday she got a tent out as they have gone to Newquay for the week and she tells us that of the 4 tents that should be there, there is one. A little alarmed by that as they aren't like a cutlery set or a gas canister that could easily be in a dark corner, its 3 f**king tents, one a large one and 2 2 man tents.

I am hoping it is just my kids dim wittedness and they are there, but this was all backed up by her boyfriend who as the americans say, has smarts.


Leeds ticket trois.

We went to Leeds today, filthy Leeds as I like to call it. Managed to find Crash records piece of piss, forgot the all important blue slip receipt and started to cry inside at the thought that we may have to go home sans ticket, didnt, so thats one ticket. We do it all again soon to the south to exchange two other tickets.

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