After asking at the info point near the Pyramid Stage whereabouts the Cabaret Tent was to be found, being handed a map and told 'Just around the corner', I took a trip around the corner ... around a few more ... past a few more tents that quite obviously were not the Cabaret Tent until I eventually - after much appalling map reading - stumbled upon a tent holding a huge crowd, and thought 'this could be it'.
The second I got inside I knew I was in the right place, as I weaved my way to sit down at the front, the crowd were continuously shouting 'RRRRIIIIICCCEEEE!!!' and throwing copious amounts of food-stuff at the compere!
Woody's entry onto the stage was hailed with a storm of rice from the prepared and obviously second-time or even third-time audience (Woody Bop Muddy is a regular on the festival circuit). His act didn't stray from the norm ... For those of you who have never had the pleasure of seeing Mr Bop Muddy live, 'the norm' consists of getting out a record - this time we were treated to such classics as 'The Wombles' and 'Abba' - then asking the audience whether to 'NAIL IT' or 'SAVE IT'. The routine is called "Record Graveyard" - Neil
The record is almost invariably voted to be nailed and with his precious golden hammer and smashes the record to smithereens. This is repeated many times with interruptions for a little jingle on his keyboard... 'dah dah dah dah dah dah.... VIACOM'.. (you really have to have witnessed this to understand). Much sexual innuendo ... or actually no not innuendo, just blatant sexual references such as 'look at the shaft on that' whilst he rubs hands full of rice up and down the microphone stand in a way that can only suggest he's enjoying it.
The old favourites were there with lines such as 'Rice, they f*cking love it in China' along with a new addition (well since '99 when I last saw him) of 'Little C*nt', a puppet who can't dance... 'He's not a toy ... he's a c*nt!'
.. I think you're starting to get the picture. If this doesn't sound your cup of tea, have a few drinks before hand...
SHEWEE -urinating device for women. GET YOUR FESTIVAL TICKET PAID FOR!
Shewee is the portable urinating device that allows women to urinate whilst standing and without removing clothes. Ideal for using in a tent at night (into a bottle!), long car journeys, traveling abroad and outdoor pursuits – no more bare bottoms! more >>
Glastonbury Festival 
more pages about Woody Bop Muddy
